Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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