I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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