did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I FOUND THE LEGS
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
