we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
