Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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