Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
