marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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