Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
