i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
