I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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