I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
