I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
