She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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