Buhtt sex?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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