swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Even my vagina gasped.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
