he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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