I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
