UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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