3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
