I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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