im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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