he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
