Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
where are you?
Hypothermia
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
