How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
