Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
