Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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