i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
