went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
