somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
only you would photoshop your dick
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize