Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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