New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
