ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
