What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
