I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
