sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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