I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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