maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
But we have bathrooms and they dont
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
