We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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