my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
