'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
