Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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