Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think people are normalizing furries
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
