i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
