I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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