I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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