I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
this will be a night to untag.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
