BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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