Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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