this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
