So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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