I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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