You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love you. Go after that dick
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
