pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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