If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
