If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
