Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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