was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
