I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
