i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize