Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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