i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
