I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
