i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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