Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
