I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
