It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
