Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
