You made me cry and you don't even care
farters have to be the big spoon...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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